American Idol Night: Andrew Lloyd Webber

Dear sweet tiny infant Jesus Christ Superstar...it's Andrew Lloyd Webber night. *cue cringing* One of my friends once said she liked opera when I said I liked opera. Then she said she loved Phantom of the Opera, and I had to explain that was actually fauxpra, not opera. But I digress. We're down to six, with the ouster of Kristy Lee Cook last week. It'll be interesting to see how David Cook and Jason Castro fare with this the most. Carly Smithson's voice is best suited for the bombastic ALW, but we shall see. I see David Duchovny.... a random Pussycat Doll...Simon looks like he wants to vomit. First: Syesha Mercado Ooh...she's kinda sassing Andrew Lloyd Webber. But now he thinks she could bring the house down. Lessee.....She's really working "One Rock and Roll Too Many," from Starlight Express. But the only problem is, no matter how well she does, people kinda have this hate on for her. She's really cutting loose on this, but will it translate into votes tomorrow?

Randy: This may surprise you, not only is this your element, you could be a huge Broadway star. Paula: something something you're real good at it Simon: Syesha, that was very sexy. I actually agree with Randy. I think this was one of your strongest performances so far. You definitely are more comfortable in this area.

Second: Jason Castro He's the guy I worry about. I mean, if he's not Mariah-esque, he's infinitely not ALW. Andrew is flummoxed by a guy in dreadlocks singing "Memory." I couldn't understand everything ALW said, but I think the crux of it was he expects Jason to screw it up. He's not doing so badly though. But he is kinda out of his element. And the creepy hand swayers are back in the audience. Oh dear..time for judging...

Randy: Uses the words "train wreck." Too much melody for me for you. Paula: Everybody used to hearing it something something female power balladeer, something not who you are, wise to choose it..Joe Cocker.... Whoa..Randy just said Jason was beautiful. Simon: It felt to me - and I'm sure to you too - as the longest two minutes of your life. It's not your style of music.

Third: Brooke White Ouch....ALW says Brooke doesn't have a clue what she's singing about - "You Must Love Me." BTW, ALW is about as good at enunciation as Paula. Ooh....White flubs her line right away and starts over. This is the second performance she's done that - the first time the judges thought it was a lovely show of dedication to the song. Will they still think so today? I think her lower register isn't as strong...and she's sounding a little shrillish.

Randy: There were parts of it were good. At least you listened to ALW. I kinda got that vulnerability from you. Paula: You must never bargain shop. Something something something something. Simon: You were so tense trying to remember the song, your throat began straining in the middle of the song, and it actually became uncomfortable.

Fourth: David Archuleta Radio Disney will probably pick something schmalzty and menopausal and simultaneously thrill the Geritol and Malibu Barbie crowds. I will want to throw a brick through my TV. He will mumble through his intro clip with that beaten pound puppy look, and then go up on that stage and sing with all the personality of someone whose dad lets him drive slow on the driveway every Saturday. He's done a rearrangement of "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera, but it's still more KLUV than KISS-FM.

Randy: You're exactly what this show's about. This boy's the one to beat! Paula: I think it's perfect..something something apostolic. Simon: I thought it was pleasant. One of your weakest performances of the live shows.

Fifth: Carly Smithson She's going to sing "All I Ask Of You," and ALW said it wasn't a good song for her. He convinced her to sing "Jesus Christ Superstar." Which is, of course, the right song for her voice. Let's see, though, if the judges agree.

Randy: It's no surprise to me that the bigger voices are doing better tonight. Paula: I love so much that its so unexpected...love what you did in the chorus. Simon: It got a little bit shouty in the middle...but it was actually one of my favorite performances of the night.

Sixth: David Cook OK - this is either gonna be cool, or awful. Either way, it won't be enough to get him knocked off this week. He says he actually grew up doing musical theater, and he's going to sing "Music of the Night." It was worth it all night just to see Andrew Lloyd Webber say, "I'm a gorgeous 17-year-old girl," mostly because I'm a third grader. It's kinda disturbing to see rocker David doing musical theater....but he's um, kind of not sucking ... so far. Holycrapstick....see, Radio Disney... this is how you pick a song, sing with you eyes open, and sell it.

Randy: If you can really sing, you can sing anything. Dude, that was an amazing performance. Paula: This song just proves.....something well rounded performances. Simon: You made the most of the song you were given.

OK, my predictions for bottom three: Jason Castro, Brook White, and Radio Disney. Yours?