Live Blogging the Cowboys, the Ocho Whatevah Edition

I have my drink, my snack, and I've peed. I'm ready. So ready. Are you ready? I say we forcibly make Ocho kiss the star, since he wanted to so badly. That's what I say. So this first drive is going swimmingly, I say. Third and 5, would've been freaking nice if Bennett could've caught it in the end zone, though. So we go for a field goal off of this interception we just happened to take because we're awesome. Dallas 3, Cincinnati 0. BTW, this is the first interception by a Dallas linebacker in 22 games. Bengals possession gets a flag. I'm not bothering with a nickname for the QB, because I Don't Care. Oh wait, I guess that is his nickname - only I don't care to type that, so he will be known as IDC. Second and 10 Bengals, and the IDC's pass is batted down. Next pass? Nine yard gain, but Dallas almost picks it off. Yay Not Pacman! Cincinnati will punt. It was the most womanly punt in the history of punts, quite possibly. I'll need to look and see if Gramatica ever topped it. Dallas possession, ball on the 25. Barber carries, forced out after a gain of maybe three yards? The CBS analysts just said he was like Earl Campbell. Cowboys are third and 4 at the 30ish, Witten catches for a gain of five. First and 10, Romo throw to Felix Jones, who is forced out of bounds short of the first down. Second down on a Barber carry is also just shy of the first quarter. Third and 1, Barber carry gets the ball to just past the 40ish, with TO blocking in front of him. First and 10, throw is over the head of the intended receiver. Second and 10, flag on Dallas for a false start. Question: How much do you have to suck if you lose to the 49ers? Third and 13, Romo connects with TO, who nearly drops the ball around the 30 but recovers. Nice shot of Ocho mouth breathing. Felix Jones skips into the end zone for the first TD of the afternoon. Dallas 10, What was that Ocho? 0 Kick return gets the Bengals starting around the 20. Second carry gets the Bengals the first down. Question: Is your game extra-boring if they start cutting away to the Patriots-49ers? Heh...even the announcers won't call Ocho anything but Chad Johnson. His jersey says C. Johnson. This gives me joy normally reserved for finding Kate Spade on sale. I love you, CBS Sports. What happens if he gets traded to another team, and 85 is already taken? Chris Henry can't count. This gives the Bengals a penalty for too many men on the field. IDC overthrows across the middle. Third and 18, and IDC completely misses Ocho because Not Pacman was covering him. Cincy punts it, Dallas starts at their 3. Dallas 10, Bengals STILL ZERO, OCHO. Back from commercial, and a ginormous error gives a touchback that allows Dallas to start at the 20. Ha! Barber has the first carry, with Witten and Owens blocking, and gets to the 35-ish. Stupid penalty and Dallas moseys back. Second and 11, Romo throws to Witten, who is brought down at the 35. Owens possession picks up significant yardage. Second and 2, Felix Jones carry gets the 'boys a first down. Jones carry gets some yardage, Second and feet, Jones runs another six or seven yards down the field for a first down. First and goal, handoff to Anderson gets them to the four. Barber carry powers through, but gets them to the two. Dallas has 110 rushing yards to Cincy's 5 this half so far. Third and goal, Romo fires it to Witten, who was chillin' in the end zone. Score: Dallas 17, Pucker Up 0. Oh, right, Cincy has the ball again. (Yawn) Third and one, Cincy manages a first down. And then another one. Cedric Benson is looking like a good signing for Cinc, btw. IDC hands off for a gain of maybe two. Second and seven, IDC hands it to Benson, and barely gains a yard. Third and 6, IDC throws to Utecht, near the one, but there is some conversation about if he was in bounds. Looks like Wade challenged the play. CBS replay looks like one foot in, one foot out. It is ruled an incomplete pass, which means the Bengals will go for the field goal. Score: Dallas 17, Cincy 3 Jones takes a knee, Dallas will start on the 20. Holy crap on french toast, the Giants were winning 44 to like, negative 15 over the Seahawks. Third and 8, Romo connects to Witten for a first down. But there's a stupid flag. Personal foul on Gurode. Dallas has first and 10, Romo hands off to Jones for a minimal gain. Another flag, holding on Cincy, automatic first down for Dallas. Second and 1, Romo to Witten, who was out at the catch. Third and 1, Barber carry short of the first. McBriar will kick, god help us. Cincy will start at the 20. IDC's pass deflected and almost caught by Dallas. Second and 10, next pass incomplete. Connects with Chatman, and gets the first down. First and 10, Henry run out of bounds and no gain. Second and 10, five yard gain. Third and four, IDC throws it away. Not Pacman ably handles the put return, getting Dallas to the 28. Barber carry goes out of bounds for little yardage. Second and 8, handoff to Barber picks up six yards. Crap. Lost fumble. Thanks ToRo. Barber got called for holding. However, the play is now up for review, because Romo may have been down before the ball was stripped from him. If not, the Bengals will have possession. Bengals will start at the Dallas 29, with 1:42 left in the half. Chatman catches IDC's pass, just short of the first down. Second and 1, IDC to Utecht, first down. Romo looks aggravated. Or constipated, or both. First and 10, Perry runs for a TD, but there's a flag. Holding on Cincy, repeat first down. Chatman catch, brought down by Not Pacman. Bengals time out, 50 seconds left in the half. IDC's next throw batted away by Not Pacman. Then IDC overthrows to Perry. Bengals kick a field goal. Score: Dallas 17, Bengals 6. So at the half, I think the Cowboys need to keep the Bengals off kilter. They almost had their act together with that last run, which could bode ill, especially if Romo drops the ball again. Plus, someone stuffing Ocho right at the star would make me giggle. Start of the third quarter, Dallas ball, third and 13 shy of the Bengals 30. Witten catch gets just short of first, so ball turned over on downs at 4th and 5. McBriar kicks and Cincy recovers around 25. Cincy, as I feared, has come out a somewhat different team. The Cowboys, well, Romo's sitting on the bench with his head farking down. Ocho finally catches something for a first down for Cincy. Zach Thomas very nearly took it, though. A Perry carry gets the Bengals two. Romo needs to quit pouting over there. Perry almost catches for a TD. Second go at a TD is good - Cincy TD. Score: Dallas 17, Cincinnati 13. A Miles Austin kick return means Dallas will start at the 24. It's now third and 5, and the Cowboys are starting to show signs of falling apart. Hopefully, this just completed pass to Witten for a first down will turn things around. Second throw is lousy, but Crayton could've caught it. Patrick Crayton = football repellent. Second and 10, handoff to Barber picks up maybe two yards. Yet another run, and no traction. McBriar will punt, and the Bengals will start at their own 7. Someone - and it's not the Bengals - needs a gut check. Romo's getting frustrated, and instead of collecting himself during his bench time, he's stewing in it - you can just tell. Direct contrast? Peyton Manning just a couple of hours ago. Behind pretty much the entire game, he did get frustrated - you could tell - but instead of sitting over there on the bench stewing, he was up, and engaged in the game. Can you convince anyone you really want to win when you sit and sulk instead of cheering on the defense? I'm just wondering. Bengals false start costs them some yardage on the first play. First and 14, Benson makes it to the line of scrimmage before Zach Thomas stops him. Second and 13, Ratliff makes a huge stop, third and 13 for the Bengals. IDC throw gets them to the 9, but no first down, so Cincy gives it back to Dallas, who will start around the 50 yard line. Ball pops out of Barber's hands, but Dallas recovers, thank God. Felix Jones scrambles and hops for just about a yard shy of the first down. Third and 1, Barber gets the first down. First and 10, Romo thorow intercepted by Cincy, before being brought down near the 40, because Romo overthrows the ball. Cincy has first and 10 around the 50, IDC connects with Ocho for the first down as the clock winds down on the third quarter. No gain on the first throw to Chatman. Second throw incomplete. Third and 10, IDC throw is broken up, and the field goal team will make a 40-yard try that is good. Score: Dallas 17, Cincy 16 Crap - offside kick, and they're peeling people off the ball. Cincy recovered it, so Cincy gets the ball. I am contemplating kicking something, but then realize that would make me more fired up about this than ToRo is. Bengals first and 10, first throw gets them a little yardage. Second and four, IDC connects with Ocho for the first down. Perry fumbles. Cowboys recover, and then jump around and act all happy, and then realize the offense has to come out now. First and 10 at the 40, handoff nets very little yardage. Second and 8, long bomb to TO brings in a TD. Thank God. Maybe I should start the live blog with a rant, and then the Cowboys can work from there. My fault. I should've ranted sooner. Score: Dallas 24, Cincy 16 Holt ran for a giant punt return, but may have gotten a concussion for his troubles. Bengals start on the Dallas 37, but the first pass only gets them maybe one yard. Second and 7, IDC connects with some other guy, first down. First and 10, a handoff to Benson gets just over the line of scrimmage. Next throw connects for a first down, one after that, no gain. Perry picks up three yards. Third and 7 at the 10, IDC connects for a TD. I smell a two point conversion attempt to tie the game. Utecht's catch is batted away. Score: Dallas 24, Cincy 22 Jones recovers to the 20 yard line, flag called on offense for holding. Five yard penalty. First carry, Barber barrels through for a few yards. Second and 8, Romo throws to Barber for 5. Third and 3, Romo runs it himself for four yards and the first down. Jones picks up yards just shy of the first down. Felix Jones has it, and is off and running for about 18, flag on Cincy for a facemask gives Dallas another 15. First and 10 at the 30ish, a handoff to Barber gets Dallas to about the 25. First and 10 after a throw to Witten. First and 10 at the 15ish, 2 and change left in the game. To tosses to Barber, who makes it to the line of scrimmage. Second and 10, Romo runs it for a loss of a yard. Third and 11, 1:59 left in the game. Romo's throw under pressure was meant for Austin, but is caught by Crayton. No matter - it's a TD just the same. Score: Dallas 31, Bengals 22 First and 10 at the 25ish, and IDC totally misses Utecht. Nearly beans him plumb on the noggin. Thats why you're IDC. Demarcus Ware sacks IDC. Bengals 3rd and 13, flag on the play, Dallas had someone in the neutral zone. Penalty declined, first and 10 for the Bengals. IDC tosses it to Perry, who is run out of bounds. Second and 8, IDC is sacked again - this time by Ratliff. Third and 14, 33 seconds left in the game. IDC connects with Perry, who is forced out of bounds and into the Dallas equipment thingie. Fourth and 9, IDC completely misses anyone, and Dallas takes over on downs with 18 seconds left in the game. Score: Dallas 31-Cincy 22