Dear City of Dallas:

Do you think perhaps you could maybe make it a city ordinance that if you own a nudie bar, you automatically lose your license if you're caught with help under the age of oh, I don't know, 18? Because a 12-year-old stripper just isn't sitting well with me, and the fact that Diamonds Cabaret is getting to keep its license because the city of Dallas didn't have the forethought to put an ordinance on the books that yanks a license and shuts down a club the moment they're essentially showing live kiddie porn is patently ridiculous. I mean, you've already zoned where they can be, what they can show, and how close they can can get and what parts can and cannot touch. But you didn't think to make a proviso that the dancers had to be of age or the joint would get shut down automatically? Really?