Probably Not the Best Way to Say It ...

Dear NorthPark Center: I like you, I do. With your plethora of stores containing things I love, and that nice, clean movie theater, you are by far my favorite mall in Dallas. But you've gotta start sounding a little more concerned about the people who shop there. I mean, a lady got shot in the face. Your response was to make the mall safe from reporters. Yes, the last two times I've been there I've counted no less than 13 uniformed-type people there, but for those people who haven't been there in a while, all they have to go on is what is in the paper and on TV - and it ain't lookin' so good. Take today, for instance. There's a story about how the folks at Neiman Marcus are upset because the emergency call boxes in the parking lot adjacent to it do not work. Instead of saying, "As part of the audit we are conducting, we are determining the best use of those call boxes, and whether or not they possibly need to be upgraded," your guy or gal apparently tossed out this:

Mall officials said the call boxes near Neiman Marcus have not worked for years and they thought store officials knew that.

Haven't worked for years? Really? Best thing to say, you think? "Dear Customer, we care about you so much we haven't bothered to fix the emergency call boxes. If you press the buttons expecting help, you'll die before you get any. The stupidheads at Neimans should've known that. Hugs and kisses, NorthPark Center." Seriously? You guys do understand that the past year has been kind of this black eye image-wise, right? You understand that you're on track to surpass your previous crime report totals for the year, right? I think - and probably a lot more people do, too - that deserves a little more than a shoulder shrug and a "we thought you knew." Because once someone gets shot in the face waiting to pick her kid up from a movie, it's just not good enough anymore.

Of this, and that ...

For the love of God... Robert Byrd was hospitalized for old. Um, did you really think a place that sells diamonelles had real stones? Shop online! Amen. He gets a threesome before any of these people do.

Of this, and that, on Monday

And I would like a pony... The word cluster-eff comes to mind. Who else would like to know if this place has a better crime rate than this place after this? Robert Byrd picked the lesser of his two evils. Dear John McCain: What's that whole thing in the Bible about the rafter and the eyeballs and the straw and stuff?