I can see Russia from my house!

"I scratched and clawed through mud and barbed wire, and you just glided in on a dogsled wearing your pageant sash and your Tina Fey glasses!"

Wow...

Like him or not, you have to say that Barack Obama himself has conducted himself with quite a bit of class during what was a very dirty fight. And I think tonight, as I watch him speak just after learning for sure that he has the delegates to clench the Democratic nomination, I am struck most by his praise for Hillary Clinton.

"Senator Hillary Clinton has made history in this campaign not just because she's a woman who has done what no woman has done before, but because she's a leader who inspires millions of Americans with her strength, her courage, and her commitment to the causes that brought us here tonight." "And you can rest assured that when we finally win the battle for universal health care in this country, she will be central to that victory. When we transform our energy policy and lift our children out of poverty, it will be because she worked to help make it happen. Our party and our country are better off because of her, and I am a better candidate for having had the honor to compete with Hillary Rodham Clinton. "

Yes, part of it is likely an olive branch in case a deal is indeed struck for the so-called "dream ticket" of Obama and Clinton. It's also probably the beginning of the courtship of Clinton's voters, in case that ticket doesn't happen. But just, wow.

Of this, and that ...

For the love of God... Robert Byrd was hospitalized for old. Um, did you really think a place that sells diamonelles had real stones? Shop online! Amen. He gets a threesome before any of these people do.

Of This, And That, the "I Finally Got a Freakin' Break" Edition

1. To the tick tock she don't, stop stop.... 2. The first sign Michelle Malkin has penis envy regarding Ann Coulter. 3. Just as we suspected, going commando will not help peace or further the cause of human rights. Unless, of course, you're down to your last pair. 4. China's Premier Wen Jiabao has a Facebook profile. But it turns out a fan made it for him. 5. In a week that apparently is the official declaration of the Bush administration's figurative "last week of school," Condoleezza Rice joins the KISS Army.

You'd Think...

after the whole "nappy headed ho" debacle, Don Imus would learn to measure his words better. But no. After the Clinton-Obama debate in Pennsylvania - the one pretty much everyone hated - seasoned professional Don Imus felt he had to weigh in. Why did he get his job back, again? Thanks to Mike D. over at Dallas Progress for pointing this one out.

Debating in Pennsylvania: Losing Patience

I'm watching the Obama-Clinton Pennsylvania debate now, and in the first 30 minutes, we've rehashed the "bitter" comments and re-rehashed the Rev. Wright issue. Thirty minutes on all of this - and nothing on the actual issues. Is anyone else losing patience with all of this? They're taking questions from viewers, apparently, but the cynical side of me is wondering if ABC edited out the unsexy ones. Right now, at 7:34, we're talking about the Bosnia trip again. Seriously, Pennsylvania - the economy is in the crapper, we've got soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan, there are hundreds of thousands living below or at the poverty line - and you want to ask Obama why he doesn't wear a flag on his lapel? Were the questions really that craptastic, ABC, that this was what floated to the top? Now George Stephanopoulos has asked Obama about William Ayers and Weather Underground now. He basically responds, then Hillary gives a long winded version of "known by the company you keep." Bad move, because now Obama can point out that President Clinton pardoned some of the Underground when he was president, which means she - by her own standards - is not fit to be president. FINALLY - an Iraq question from a real person. Do the candidates have a real plan to bring troops home from Iraq? Clinton says she's going to bring home one to two brigades a month home. She's convinced it's in America's best interest and Iraq's best interest to begin troop withdrawal in 60 days of er taking offices. Iraqis "will no longer have a blank check." She's made her decision, she says. Afghanistan has been neglected, she adds, and there's other problems "we've failed to address." Obama says that its not the role of the generals to decide when troops come home - its the commander-in-chief's. While he'll listen to the commanders on the ground, "ultimately the buck stops with me." He plans on having troops out in 16 months. "We are overstretched in a way we do not have a strategic reserve at this point." He also says its important that Iran understands that an attack on Israel is an attack on our strongest ally in the region. Clinton says that the deterrent to Iran should go beyond Israel, and the Bush policy has failed. "Iran has not been deterred." She thinks this is an opportunity for diplomacy in the region, starting with low level discussions. "We cannot permit Iran to become a nuclear weapons power." She promotes having the rest of the region band together to deter Iran. Stephanopoulos turns it to the economy, saying McCain said both are planning to raise taxes for everyone. Clinton says she won't raise taxes on the middle class, and has a plan for tax cuts that will help that group better afford health care, college, etc. But she went on the record as saying there would be no tax increases. Obama said he would cut taxes, not raise them. One of the centerpieces of his campaign, he says, is offsetting the payroll tax. The tax code in Washington, he said, was written for the wealthy and well-connected. Charlie now gives Obama a history lesson on capital gains taxes. Obama said he would look at the capital gains tax in the interest of fairness. He pointed to articles today on hedge funds making millions. Says he wants to be able to fund healthcare, education, etc., "but you can't do that for free, and you can't do that on a credit card from the Bank of China." Clinton wants to invest in clean, renewable energy, and in infrastructure. She works in the union - "good union jobs." Both talked about the mortgage crisis, and said Bush didn't do anything to stop it. For the record, btw, Clinton said she wouldn't raise the capital gains tax above 20 percent, if she raised it at all. Charlie Gibson says Obama was on record saying he wouldn't raise it above 28 percent. Obama says he would consider raising the cap on payroll tax, because the current cap is $90,000 a year. Chuckles gets a little pissy about Obama and his taxes...and Obama says he'd consider some exemptions. Hillary talks about how the 1983 commission was the most awesomest thing ever. Obama points out they raised the retirement age and the payroll tax. Hillary then rambles about there being a better way, and channels her inner Paula Abdul right before the commercial break. Now we're talking gun control. I almost missed the question because I had to check American Idol and the Mavericks score. I'm still unclear on both, just as I am this debate. Oh well. Chuckles is apparently asking them about their apparent flip flop from pro gun control to being all for an individual's right to bear arms. Hillary's talking something about police knowing how to track illegal guns. She respects the second amendment, but thinks most lawful gun owners want to make sure their guns stay out of the wrong hands. Chuckles now asks Obama if DC's gun law about sawed offs and handguns jibes with the second amendment. Obama says he believes in the second amendment and the government, but he also thinks the local government should have the ability to set zoning requirements. He thinks we can make sure criminals and the mentally deranged don't get handguns. That's so cute. BTW, this DC gun law is before the Supremes. Hillary says she also thinks the local government should be able to set its own laws. Snuffleupagus now asks Obama about affirmative action, because Obama is African American, and his children are, too, you know. I dunno, the wording of this question was just kind of almost offensive. As if the Obama children were the beneficiaries of such a policy. Hillary is against No Child Left Behind. Who isn't? She talks about healthcare for a while, then gas prices and releasing petroleum out of the reserve, and (like McCain) a temporary freeze on the gasoline tax. Obama says people are cynical about energy policy because we've been talking about it since the Carter administration. He wants to raise fuel efficiency standards, and "get serious" about it, and investing in new technologies and new energy strategies. How would they use George W.? Hillary said that she's sure that there will be an opportunity for him to work on behalf of the country. Obama says he's more likely to ask advice of George H.W. than George W., and actually spoke in admiration of George H.W.'s foreign policy prowess. In short, neither one of them has a job for George W. Bush.

Politics Is Funny, Monday Edition

• In all honesty, Cindy, John does have a point. You do wear a lot of make up. But John, you really shouldn't have called her that.

• Harold Ickes and Mark Penn apparently get into the mother of all backseat fights. "Mom, he's looking out my window!" "He's touching me!" "[Expletive] you!" Hillary responds by leaving Mark at the nearest rest stop.

• Bill O'Reilly isn't quite sure who is a patriot these days, but he's pretty sure this guy isn't, which makes him a pinhead, even though he's not actually a U.S. citizen, so it's OK if he's not patriotic. Not to mention he's playing a fictional character.

• And (hat tip to Maggie at m-pyre) Rush Limbaugh waxes on about feminism. I feel gipped. I didn't get my tote bag with my check off list, and now I fear I'm woefully behind on my feminist agenda, per Rush. If you don't see me for a few weeks, it's because I need to have three quicky divorces, bare minimum, before I'm up to snuff.

And finally, there's this:

Let's Tsk Tsk While Comparing Two Completely Disparate Situations

So, over on one of the Dallas Morning News' bajillion blogs, Rod Dreher has his crunchy con-ness all in an uproar over the fact that the Clintons gave more percentage-wise to charity than the Obamas did. So where do I start? Let's start with the fact that the Clintons earned more than the Obamas. Then there's also the fact that we're talking about two couples that are at completely different stages in their lives - the Clintons are empty-nesters with oodles of disposable income, the Obamas have two young daughters to feed and clothe, as well as their college educations for which to plan. Let's not also forget that the span of time between Hillary and Bill Clinton and college debt and the span of time between Barack and Michelle Obama and college debt are substantially different as well. And then there's what one commenter, Matt, said:

Obama has spent many years working with the down and out in South Chicago...can you put a price on a person's time and effort?

And then, of course, as many of the other commenters pointed out - the bulk of the Clinton's charitable giving went to their own charitable foundation. Dreher's lack of homework peeved quite a few, as you'll see in the comments. (And yes, I felt compelled to respond to one person who decided to bring the Bible into it by well, bringing the Bible into it, which you will see in the comments.)

Sometimes, You Just Need To Vent

Sometimes, life is tough and stressful. And even though you try to put a positive spin on it, it gets to you. And suddenly, just one question, one event, makes you just lose it. However, former President possible future first man Bill Clinton, I do not recommend doing it like so.

Dear Hillary,

I understand that you've been getting a lot of flack for that whole sniper fire with Sinbad in Bosnia thing. And when that happens, the natural inclination is to deflect, sure. But I think that perhaps choosing now to talk about that whole Jeremiah Wright thing is a mistake. For one thing, you accepted an endorsement from Rev. Calvin Butts, pastor of the Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem. He isn't exactly the meek and mild guy. But the biggest problem is while you and Obama are sitting there taking potshots at each other about what church he attends and your hellish experiences with Sheryl Crow, this guy is going around looking all presidential.

Politics....and how! Or, how Sandra Crenshaw and I became pen-pals

For those of you who read Frontburner, D Magazine's blog, you are probably well aware by now that there was a fracas at Precinct 3549, in which Sandra Crenshaw faced off with some Obama supporters. Now, since I wasn't there, I have no clue what actually happened. I do know there's allegedly a videotape floating around there somewhere. In the course of live primary coverage, however, Frontburner was told first of the debacle by a commenter named Maggie. Much, much later, Sandra Crenshaw herself responded to the allegations, threatening to sue for libel, among other things. After a few blog posts by Ms. Crenshaw, I offered to edit her blog posts before she posted them. She responded later by posting her e-mail address. I e-mailed her, and several days later, she responded:

Bethany, sorry for waiting so long for getting back to you. I have been busy securing the documentation needed to prosecute the individuals who disrupted the voting process.

I assume that you are from Dallas, Texas. This scenario was a set up by my political adversaries, phone calls to police and all. If you are a journalist, send me your resume so that I can verify it or call me at (phone number deleted by me). I am preparing for lawsuits and need a detailed description of the events as they happened because there were civil and criminal offenses committed here. Obama won the caucus in the states and Hillary the primaries. All my friends around the country said that Obama's strategy was intimidation but now we have documentation of it, video tapes that they illegally conducted, police reports, sheriff's department reports, election and party offices reports, telephone logs from the city offices, and the surveillience cameras from the rec center we raised the money for the cactus juice in the same manner that we bought the cameras,) records from the ambulances, and slander and libel if I did not know any better, i would alledge hillary paid these culprits to do this in Obama's name because all politicos in this town know that I do not play. I am going to challenge the credentials of all OBAMA delegates that were involved in this scheme all Others have set me up and broadcast in the media since 2000 to silence me and to impugn my intergrity and credibility in the community including the state senator, the past mayor, president of Paul Quinn College,, the deputy mayor pro-tem, radio personalities, who are all involved in public corruption. All of those political figures who set me up for the scenes described in the blogs have been convicted of crimes while others are awaiting trials and indictments. The fingerprints of those remaining public figures are all over this.

e-mail me your telephone number and a date and time to me and I will give you exclusive rights to write a book about this. I already have one coming out called "living under the table" and I am looking for an editor when my lawyers file these cases, I will need a press agent So if you can work as the press agent on contingency like the lawyer so that we can get damages, we both can make money off the book on this campaign and the black vote.

It's scary that a black man can hypnotize voters into thinking they were going to actually vote twice and they argue with me for 51/2 hours 7-1:30a.m, trail me through dark alleys and woods and turn themselves into the police arguing with me " Then why did we Obama tell us our vote would not be whole if we did not vote twice. I thought Obama preyed upon the not the ignorance but the TRUST of my neighbors and for that I am fighting mad. and I don't want anyone in the white house like that.

PS you could be the FBI or the DEmocratic Party goons so I don't want to give any ammunition to have me thrown in the trinity river hoffa style. For the record, I'm not a goon from the FBI or the Democratic Party. I will say, though, that this is quite honestly the first time anyone's ever worried I'd throw them in the Trinity, Hoffa-style.