Sunday, April 20, 2008

Dear FSN Southwest sports anchor Ric Renner:

Your hair disturbs me on many levels - I mean, it's gone beyond the very 90's fade that you're sporting in your vanity shot for FSN Southwest's website. It's like one of those ski hats Bodi Miller quit wearing five years ago. It literally nearly ruined my Stars-viewing, Brad Richards slow-mo'ing pleasure tonight. And I'm not the only one. There is an entire message board devoted to your hair, how horrible it is and whether or not it's real. My vote? You borrowed it from Fraggle Rock. Or you took a picture of your favorite fraggle in to your barber, and said, "That one, please!" And then the lady at "Kool Kuts 4 Kids" sighed, and went at it, because the customer is always right. Either that, or you're still letting your mom use the Flowbee. At any rate, it has to stop. Come to Dallas. I'll take you to Sport Clips. I'll pay. We'll get rid of the horrible growth atop your noggin you're calling a hairstyle, and your Q rating will thank me. I mean, I can't help your lack of hockey intelligence, but to lack hockey knowledge AND have bad hair is just unconscionable. Update: Thanks to these fine folks at the Unticket for capturing the Ric Renner hair.