Dear Reliant Energy:

This has been bugging me for about a month. You've got this commercial with this chick. I don't remember her name - mostly because I become fixated on the stupid thing she says, which obliterates her name from my memory nearly immediately.

"I like to read books. Fiction, non-fiction ... autobiographies about people."

Autobiographies about people. I'm very glad she clarified, because it clearly means she won't be interested in, say, Jenny the Elephant's autobiography - which I'm sure she'll write just as soon as evolution gives her opposable thumbs. And um, hands. An autobiography, according to Merriam-Websters, is " the biography of a person narrated by himself or herself." So in other words, autobiographies are pretty much always by people, except for the seminal tome, "Polly Wanna Cracker, Qwaaaaaaaaack, Pretty Girl," by Percy the Parrot.